When our family arrived at the front door of Fair 4 and a half years ago we believed Fair would only be a temporary fix while we explored long term care for our son. After a week at Fair we came to the conclusion that Fair was the long term solution we were looking for. We also discovered it wasn’t just our son that needed help, we as parents needed help too. Our son has moved on with his life but we remain as volunteers at Fair. The changes the families make during their time at Fair continues to inspire us to stay involved as volunteers in this unique, evidence based, successful program.
Pete and Tish
I wanted to take this opportunity to share our experience as parents of children who suffer from drug addiction. We came to FAIR feeling desperate, scared and alone. Drugs had not only destroyed both our children’s lives, drugs had destroyed our family. Their drug addiction spilled over into every aspect of their lives and every aspect of our lives. We had sought treatment for years and from so many sources and nothing was working. Then we came to FAIR and for the first time in several years there was a glimmer of hope. For the first time we no longer felt alone. We came to FAIR and learned that addiction is not just a personal disease, it’s a family disease and we all needed treatment. Our children entered the young adult program and we as parents began attending the multifamily group and Families Anonymous groups weekly. While our children were getting sober and learning coping skills, we too began to learn how to change our thinking from reactive to responsive. We learned that we could not control our children’s addictions however we could change the way we responded to the disease. We learned to turn the negatives to positives and our fear to faith. With the help of the counselors and the FAIR program we learned that we had to equip ourselves with our own tools if we were going to survive this disease. We learned that if we were going to be able to be a family again we had to change the way we thought and acted, we had to learn new ways of communicating and how to set-up boundaries. It wasn’t until we changed what we were doing that we saw change in our children. Both of our children are sober today. For that we are grateful to the Families and Adolescents In Recovery program. We continue to work our program as they work theirs. FAIR has given us the skills, the education/knowledge and support to take on this disease called addiction, one day at a time.
Where has the time gone. Over 4.5 years ago I entered FAIR with my son who was then 15 years old and just came out of residential. My son’s life was a mess, my life was a mess and my families life was a mess. We came into FAIR broken, lost and afraid. Through FAIR our lives were transformed!! It took patience, work and determination to get through a process that in the beginning I thought would never end. The support we received from FAIR, other families and FA changed our lives. I have told people that this was the best worst experience I have ever experienced and I wish everyone could go through this program (even if sober) as we learned so much. Our lives will never be the same and thanks to FAIR, AA and the support of other families our family is in a better place. BTW my son is 4.5 years sober and continues on his journey of recovery. Life is a journey and there will be ups and downs but even after you leave FAIR, your FAIR family remains forever…..
The FAIR Program was literally life changing for our family.Our son graduated the program 3 1/2 years ago and has 4 1/2 years in sober. We came into FAIR as a very disconnected family, and we are now back to that close knit family we once were. What is different about FAIR is that its a program that truly involves the entire family and gives you toolbox of tools to use in the real world when you are not monitored by a treatment program. FAIR has a solid base of parent and youth volunteers, some who have come back to help out for more than 10 years. This gives everyone so much perspective and advice that it is just immeasurable. We have volunteered for over 3 years. For me, it is not only a way to give back but its is always a way to learn. I call it my Parent 101 Class or my Parent Tune Up. FAIR helps me not only for our son who was part of the FAIR Program but also helps me learn how to parent our other 2 sons. This program is the program that none of the kids want to go to. They know it is “hard.” The kids learn how to work around and manipulate the other programs to meet their needs instead of learning how to address their own issues. Both parents and their children have to work in the FAIR Program, but it can bring life changing results if you follow the rules and give it a chance to work.